Intention, Mind, Practice
“Maybe you care too much…”
There are the stories we tell ourselves, and the stories we are told. Sometimes the line gets blurred and you aren’t even sure of the origin of the story. In any case, stories are open to interpretation.
One of the stories buzzing around in my head is entitled, I Care Too Much.
Now, this story has definitely been suggested to me on many occasions. In school, in relationships, at work, in casual conversation… Let’s just call these episodes of the same story. All of these episodes have a similar structure: I invest myself in something, hit a wall, get frustrated, and someone offers up, “Maybe you just care too much, Jenna.”
Dear Friends, Family, and Coworkers…. That’s not exactly the most helpful piece of advice.
Care is consideration paid to something that is important. What is important, of course, is relative. I decide what is important to me, and then I pay careful consideration to it.
And to me, caring is black and white. You either care, or you are apathetic. There is no spectrum of gray from “barely care” to “pretty much care.” You are either all in or all out. Therefore, in my world, it is impossible to care too much.
If someone suggests I care too much, maybe they just value things differently. What is important to me might not be important to them. In some episodes of this story, that might be the case.
Other times, I am willing to bet that there is some truth to the I Care Too Much story. However, I would prefer to express that truth in more precise words. I think that often when I seemingly “care too much,” I am Attached to an Expectation.
The next time I hear the words, “Maybe you just care too much,” I am not going to allow myself to be upset by them. Instead, I am going to take a step back and ask myself whether that sentiment may have been inspired by an unrealistic attachment or expectation.
Do I really care too much about that project at work? Do I really care too much about this person or relationship? Do I really care too much about sustainable agriculture/labeling GMOs/deforestation (or whatever else I decide to go on a rant about while I’m having dinner with friends)?
Or, am I just attached to an unrealistic, unfair, or outlandish expectation for that project/person/issue? If so, I can be conscious of that. I can change that.
I can’t change what I care about. I just care. Caring is cool.
Maybe I care too much
Maybe I need to let go of attachment.
Maybe I need to let go of expectation.
Maybe I need to stop being afraid to let go.
But, I won’t stop caring. I won’t stop loving.
