BestSelf, Intention, Practice

Remember this date: January 21st, 2017 – When an estimated 3.5-4.5 MILLION people showed up in 550 US cities and towns, and more than 100 towns overseas to participate in the Women’s March (source: The Atlantic, although numbers are still being reported and evaluated). Now, because it is an exceedingly difficult task to gather sound data on such a widespread event, from here on I will only be able to speak to my personal experience. I marched on 1/21/17 in Philadelphia alongside my family and friends. The experience was overwhelmingly positive. People were angry, they were vocal, but they were peaceful and pleasant. The majority of those I saw participating in Philadelphia were white women. From other accounts, this trend seemed to be the same across the board. It was a matter of hours before criticisms of the Women’s March were popping up online. Demographics. Imagery. Intention. Attitude. All are worth considering critically. Why were there so few people of color? Was the planning phase of the march exclusive and/or inaccessible? Why were there so few Transgender and gender non-conforming people? Was the use of female anatomical imagery exclusive? How much of a role did the hive-mind of social media play in the impressive attendance? Did those in attendance really think about what they were showing up to do? Of course, the sheer attendance itself left an impression, and if that impression is powerful enough to enact positive change… well, I’m tempted to say who cares what anyone’s intentions were?! Except… big except. This cannot be a one-off thing. We need change – real change – and its only increasing in demand with each day of the Trump Presidency. Protest and civil disobedience are the most public and visually powerful ways to express this need for change. But, the greatest amount of pressure isn’t on the (anecdotal) majority of those who attended the Women’s March. White women will certainly be impacted by Trump’s policies, actions, and hateful words, but our whiteness will always carry privilege in Trump’s America. For those that participated in the Women’s March because it was #trending, it will be all too easy to return to the day-to-day and not think about the state of current events again until the next #bigthing that floods their Facebook feed. They showed up at the Women’s March because it felt safe. Everyone else was doing it. I want to clarify that if you fall into this category, my intention is not to shame you. My intention is to call you back into action. You did an amazing thing by showing up on 1/21/17, now keep your momentum up!  I know, I know… it’s exhausting. With no condescension, I know how exhausting it is. But you are in a position to do some real good, simply because you were privileged enough to be born white. So for the sake of playing devil’s advocate, why wouldn’t a white woman (such as myself) want to show up at, say, the next Black Lives Matter protest even though they support the movement? A threatened sense of safety. Right? It must be. We Society convinces ourselves us that it’s those kinds of protests that get violent. At those protests there are arrests and tear gas and anger. It’s far less civilized then then sea of pink pussy hats at the Women’s March. We want to support BLM, but our parents would be worried if we attended a Black Lives Matter protest, wouldn’t they? There is obviously a misconception here. You can’t make a sweeping statement that all events associated with a particular interest group get violent. You might be able to look at the probability of violence at one event versus another – but if you do, you have to consider the “why.” Could it be that Black Lives Matter/Socialist/Pride/etc. protests get violent because of the socially-constructed relationship between those in attendance and law enforcement/local politicians/people in power? Could it be that simply by showing up as a white woman, and being there as an ally, the chances of violence will actually decrease? That law enforcement is less likely to be activated by a mixed-race, mixed-gender, mixed-class congregation? To be perfectly blunt, could it be that as a young white American-born person, presenting as female, from an upper-middle class background, I am less likely to be shot by a police officer than my black male friend? Shouldn’t I stand at the front line and use that privilege to keep things from getting violent? (I am speaking to white men here, too, FYI). I understand that not everyone is comfortable with social activism, even if they are in alignment with a cause. If ever there was a time to put yourself in that uncomfortable place, it’s now. I understand that fear is all too real right here and now. There are ways to get involved that don’t put your physical being in immediate risk. Number one – Stay present to what is going on; educate yourself. And not just through the articles that pop up on your social media feeds. Number two – talk to people. And not just people who look and think like you do. Then, you choose. Take action in a way that works for you. Challenge your comfort level, though. Pick up the phone and call local representatives. Run for local office. Attend community meetings. Donate to an organization doing work you believe in, whether you donate time or money. Put yourself out there. Put yourself out there for the Love of those who are not so privileged. Get angry. Feel all the feels. Let the Fear overwhelm you. Then, take care of yourself (eat well, sleep lots, go to therapy, practice yoga, journal, and so on… this is a marathon, not a sprint) so that you can detach from that Fear and show up as your BestSelf for the Love of humanity.