BestSelf, Intention, Practice
Two core values of my practice are “radical self-awareness” and “radical compassion.” What do these mean (to me)?
rad-i-cal
- growing from the root.
- affecting the fundamental nature of something.
- favoring extreme changes in preexisting views.
self-a-wareness
- awareness of ones own root.
- awareness of ones own fundamental nature.
- awareness of ones own biases, influences, and ignorances.
com-pas-sion
- thoughtfulness and attempted understanding, often of what we may not know or see about another person, or about ourselves.
A practice of radical self-awareness can take shape through many modalities. Yoga, mindfulness, martial arts, meditation, journaling, therapy, support groups, the twelve steps… and an infinite number of other processes, some that I may never learn of, or any amalgamation of these different practices. No matter the path to arrival, radical self-awareness usually includes all or most of the following: awareness of ones location in their community, society, and the world (race, socioeconomic positio, religion, language, gender, sexual orientation, access needs, identity, etc.); awareness of ones body at an increasingly detailed and fine-tuned scale; awareness of ones own disposition; and growing awareness of personal or cultural narratives and biases, that one may otherwise be ignorant to.
In the practices I guide – movement, breath, somatic integration – and in the topics I educate on – inherently transformative reproductive stages and events (i.e., pregnancy, birth, postpartum) – this kind of self-awareness is integral to the evolution and holistic wellbeing of the individual. It is not something that I can give. It is something that whomever I am working with must want to approach for themselves. I can – and I do – express the importance of this kind of self-awareness, but I can never and would never push someone towards it.
It is messy, uncomfortable, jarring, and often times depressing to practice this kind of radical self-awareness… at least, at first.
Radical compassion, then, must follow the discomfort of radical self-awareness.
When I think of the move from radical self-awareness to radical compassion, I think of an illustrating example from my studies with Leslie Howard. Leslie is known for explicitly laying out a practice of Pelvic Floor Yoga. The pelvic floor is an area of the body that, for many reasons both cultural and personal, people tend to be disconnected from. Leslie spoke of a recurrent moment with her pelvic floor students that goes something like this:
While practicing, a student says, “I noticed _________________ in my body… what do I do about it?”
To which Leslie replies, “Be grateful that you noticed.”
That’s it. The step from radical self-awareness to radical compassion really can be that simple.
It is easy to avoid self-awareness all together, or to disengage from it once it starts to feel radical. An extreme change in our foundation can feel shaky, to say the least. Why would someone want to engage with practices that make them question their position in the world, their privileges, their disadvantages, their strengths, their weaknesses, their imbalances, and their traumas? I am here to say that it is worth it every single time, if – and maybe only if – the discomfort of radical self-awareness is followed by radical compassion.
When this blueprint is followed, that new, uncomfortable, but glorious awareness has implications not only for the way in which we meet ourselves, but also for the way in which we meet others. Rather than realizing our nuances and judging them, we realize them and begin to understand the influence that they have and have had on our behaviors, habits, and perceived failures. We can then choose to change or adjust based on the pull of our moral compass and personal ethics. Once we see this about ourselves, it starts to click that other people also have as much subtly to the way that they exist within, and interact with the world. As a result, we develop a greater capacity to deeply, truly, and lovingly support and forgive ourselves, and deeply, truly, and lovingly support and forgive others. We learn to confidently identify and ask for what we need, and respond to the needs of others with more receptivity.