birth, Honesty

Trigger warning: Birth, hospital, doctors, mortality  In the midst of a week that has been celebrated in the birth community for the reversal of censorship of real birth images on social media, there has also been a piece of problematic fictional birth media circulating online. When I first saw SNL’s sketch from May 12th, 2018, “On the Day You Were Born,” which stars Amy Schumer as a mother and as a woman in labor, I was annoyed by it, but willing to let it go as a joke. Of course it is important to laugh about the things that can be most challenging in life, and for a lot of people their experience of childbirth tops that list. Then yesterday, I saw the video being shared via BuzzFeed, with the title “This SNL Sketch About Childbirth is Hilariously Real,” and that tipped me over the edge. Okay fine, so I read the comments (never read the comments) and really that’s what tipped me over the edge. (Haven’t seen the video yet? Watch it here). While there are moments in this sketch that are redeeming, and even some realistic depictions of postpartum and parenthood, the portrayal of Amy Schumer’s character in labor is deeply upsetting… We see a woman screaming bloody murder –  in absolute terror – while laboring in a hospital setting. Her husband is equally as terrified. There is a curtain up over her legs – disconnecting her from her own experience – and the medical staff in the room are only paying attention to what’s going on between her legs under the curtain. No attention is paid to how she is feeling… which, again, seems to be completely terrified. Everyone in the room is yelling, and in total hysterics. Another doctor comes in and Amy yells at her asking where she’s been, seemingly pleading the doctor to save her. I’ll pause there, because I think you get the picture. How often do we see birth depicted this way in the media? Pretty often. We are used to it. So it shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Wrong!

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“This SNL Sketch about Childbirth is Hilariously Real,” says BuzzFeed. “Real?!” I yell, as I shake my fist skyward, “this is not the way it has to be!”

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Let me back up and say that I have no problem with the fact that this sketch takes place in a hospital. People should give birth where they feel most comfortable, and for most people that will be under medical supervision, in case something goes wrong. Just remember – birth is not a medical event, and though you will likely have medical options to consider during labor, birth works uninterrupted most of the time. It is true that over the course of history maternal and infant mortality rates have gone down overall. This likely has to do more with the availability of healthcare and resources throughout a person’s lifespan than it does the presence of medical personnel during labor and birth (i.e. Rickets and Polio used to be big risk factors when giving birth – and they no longer are – even basic nutrition and access to healthy foods makes an enormous difference in prenatal care). It is also true that since the 1980’s those maternal mortality rates have been rising in the US (due to unnecessary, unsafe, and overused medical intervention). As a doula who attends births for a living, all of the births I have attended thus far in my career have taken place in a medical setting. That being said, none of them have looked anything like that SNL sketch. Most people should give birth in a hospital, because that is where they feel safe! But, they should not give birth in a state of terror! Terror can and should be avoided during childbirth. Now, to return to the SNL sketch, it’s not problematic to me because I lack a sense of humor. I understand that it’s intentionally dramatized. It is problematic because for so many people this is their reality, which is made evident by the popularity of this – now viral – video. Because we are fortunate enough to be living in 2018, when many of the pre-existing medical conditions that could negatively impact perinatal and newborn health have been treated throughout our lifetimes, and we are overall healthier than folks were even 100 years ago… birth works most of the time, and there is no need for it to be so entirely over-medicalized. The standard in obstetric care is to strip away the authority and autonomy of the pregnant/birthing person, and assign all power to the doctor in the room. This is not only inappropriate, but also dangerous. It can leave a person feeling like they have no control over what is happening to their own body. It can lead to terror. In midwifery care, this standard is often different, and the individual who is receiving care is treated as the expert in their own body and experience. (If you’re interested in hearing more about this, check out this episode of 1A from NPR on maternal mortality rates in the US). The over-medicalization of pregnancy and birth often leads to way more stress and fear than it does peace of mind. Especially when the care model is set up so that most people (receiving care from an OB) spend only five minutes, give or take, with their doctor in a prenatal appointment, and 0% of that time is spent actually discussing their feelings towards pregnancy and birth, or heaven forbid, their fears.

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The standard of care needs to change. The depiction of childbirth in mainstream media needs to change.

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How can we expect people to go into labor without an overwhelming sense of fear when there is no one addressing their concerns, or preparing them honestly for what could happen once they’re in the labor setting of their choice, whether that’s a hospital, birth center, or at home? That is, unless they have the resources to seek independent childbirth education, and/or hire a doula. How can we expect people to go into labor unafraid when all that we see in the mainstream media are overdramatized and over-medicalized depictions of childbirth? The more we expose ourselves to positive birth images and stories, the less “hilariously real” this SNL sketch will seem… more like horrifyingly misunderstood and unsupportive. Maybe I’m doing SNL an injustice, though. Perhaps this piece was intended to be a glaring satire that is critical of the massive shortcomings of the current obstetric model, but that is certainly not how it was received by the general public. Indie Birth does a lot of work involving the importance of birth media. As part of their work as not only midwives, but also activists, they provide images and stories that help to bring others into the birth space. In part, this is done because it is something that has been increasingly lost in our culture as birth became taboo. In the past, you may have been present at several births before your own first pregnancy and first experience giving birth. As Margo Nelson recently said on an episode of the Indie Birth podcast, “there’s a way to [share birth media] that is for the highest good.” (Check out that podcast episode here). So BuzzFeed, why not write an article about the #IGUncensorbirth petition, or talk to Indie Birth about the work they did behind the scenes to make the importance of real birth media understood (by a team of people who had no vested interest in birth rights and were not parents themselves)? Let’s redirect the attention to positive birth stories! Let’s build a generation of well-informed, unafraid, powerful birthing persons! Want to see real birth media? (Click here for my list of Instagram accounts to follow). Don’t believe me that you can give birth in a hospital, but that it doesn’t have to be like that? Check out this photo of Emily @mamasaurusssrex, cool as a cucumber, catching her own baby in a hospital setting: Still think I’m overreacting? (Check out this article about the abuse of women in labor, which is just the tip of the iceberg). Birth in love! Not Fear!