Intention, Loving Kindness, Mind, Soul
Grace Overdue
I wasn’t raised with religion. My father is a professor at a Catholic university, and has worked there my entire life. I can remember when I was growing up, my dad had a Darwin fish bumper sticker on his car, and it was torn off one day while he was parked in the lot at work. That same university is where I completed my undergraduate education. Catholic Theology was a required part of the core curriculum. It is also one of the only courses I have ever gotten a “C” in. I will be the first to admit, I went into that class with a baaaaad attitude. Not because I didn’t respect the Catholic faith, or any Faith for that matter, but because I didn’t have any faith of my own. Well, that, and because most of my classmates had either gone to Catholic school or CCD growing up and inherently knew the answers to test questions. I’m usually one of the annoying kids in the front row of class who knows every answer, but in this class, I made an effort to hide. I can remember one assignment in particular that really ticked me off. At the end of class, our professor gave us the prompt for a one-page paper: What is Grace? “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I muttered out of the side of my mouth to the girl sitting one row over. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. For the next several days, I complained about this assignment to anyone who would listen. My friends, my coworkers, my family… I think I even said something to my academic advisor. I thought I was ticked off because there was a specific (Catholic) pointed response that I was expected to have memorized. And maybe there was, I can’t say for sure, because I know whatever I turned in received a big fat zero. But really, I was ticked off because I didn’t know the answer. I didn’t know the answer, because I was too blind to see it. The thought of even trying to find an answer scared me shitless. I wish that I could take that course over again, if only to redo that assignment. I’m still not Catholic. But, I do know Grace. I have seen it. I have seen Grace in my own life; my own blessings. I have seen Grace in the Divine beings around me. Grace is the luck that got me this far in life. Grace is what saved me from living in fear. Conscious living is filled with Grace. Meaningful relationships are filled with Grace. My yoga practice is Grace expressed. Spending time outdoors is Grace experienced. SO many moments in my life have been blessed; have been gracious. And Grace doesn’t care that this assignment is overdue. Grace is loving, no matter what.
3 Comments
lynda c
I love this Jenna. Beautiful. Like you. You are amazing. Never forget that.
And I love the picture.
Dave Brown
Jenna, ditto all that Lynda said. Your post is really thought provoking. I believe Grace is God showering us with blessings we really don’t deserve. I have seen that in my life, more recently than in the past. When I add up all the stuff I’ve done that was not deserving of Grace and then look at how blessed I am, well the math does not work, so Is got to be a God thing. Peace.
Dave Brown
PS: I don’t know much about Catholic theology, know a lot about faith.